“How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk ” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish:

What happens when a child crosses into the daunting territory of adolescence? For too many parents, the answer is deeply troubling: the son or daughter they thought they knew turns into a sullen stranger who criticizes their taste, challenges their rules, and rejects their values. Some parents react by laying down the law and punishing any transgression, however minor. Others respond by throwing up their hands and hoping for the best. Sadly, either approach–“Do as I say” or “Do what you want”–cuts off the possibility of communication with the most significant grown-ups in a young person’s life.